Snow and Shiro's Great Adventure
by Sulhadahne
Summary: /oneshot/ Hitsugaya has been sent on a mission to an annoying new world and he can't get that stupid human to stop following him. "I am not a 'L'Cie' and my name is not SHIRO!" Snow and Hitsugaya team up.


Snow and Shiro's Great Adventure… not.

A Bleach and Final Fantasy XIII Crossover

Hitsugaya Toshiro walked through the vast wilderness with a vein popping out his forehead.

Apparently this mission was a bit dangerous; some sort of hollow had appeared that was powerful enough to demand sending a captain in response. And yet, the danger was not all that bad since a captain was _all_ they sent. Not to mention they hadn't told Hitsugaya anything at all. They pointed, said "kill", and shoved him through the gate.

"Matsumoto..." The man seethed, fists clenching. When he got back to Soul Society...

Currently he was wandering through a great and wet wilderness that was not meant to be traversed by sandal. His feet were soaked. The trees towered over him with gorgeous majestic and dripped water into his hair. Beautiful creatures, little white and black things danced on the grass, then turned and attacked him whenever he got near. They would be adorable if they weren't homicidal.

To summarize this was the most annoying mission Hitsugaya had been on in a while and he couldn't wait to kill the damn Hollow and go home.

He jumped across another gap in the ground, and was greeted by another batched of angry adorable things. Leaping over them, he kept moving, following the curve of the river towards the right.

It another hour or so of walking to make Hitsugaya finally curse and sit down on a rock. Rubbing his forehead, he sighed. "This atmosphere is not pleasant." He was an ice element; humid forests were not his thing.

There was spirit pressure for the hollow, hell, there was no spirit pressure at all. Hitsugaya couldn't feel anything. The little creatures had no spirit energy. He was the only one with any kind of power. Where the hell was his opponent?

Frustrated, Hitsugaya reached into his haori and pulled out his communicator. He pushed a few buttons and waited for the ring.

"_Hellooo, who is it?"_

His frown twitched. "Who do you think it is? What the hell's going on Matsumoto!"

"_Oh, captain! How are you! How's your trip?"_

The veins on his head were multiplying like amoebas in heat. "Matsumoto... it's not a trip, its a mission! And where the hell is the Hollow you said was here! There's nothing but rabid white dancing... things... but they aren't hollows!"

"_Hold on Captain, slow down!" _ His vice preached._ "Don't worry, it is there! You wouldn't be sent without a reason! Here, I'll look it up..."_

The Captain felt his ire lessen somewhat. Maybe Matsumoto could find its location, he could go kick his ass, and then there would be no more aimless walking through the magical land of damp. Who knew hell could be wet?

"_Okay, here Captain, I'm sending it to your communicator. It's not far, but the spirit pressure is really low so it might sneak up on you."_

Hitsugaya frowned for a new reason. "Low spirit pressure... a hollow that can hide its spirit pressure?" That was serious. No wonder they sent a captain.

"_Don't worry, Captain, all's well; you'll kick butt, and I'll get it all on tape..."_

"What?"

"_Nothing, nothing! See you later captain!" _Click; she was gone.

Huffing, the man looked at the communicator screen, and saw the map flashing with the location of the Hollow. He examined it, then stuffed it back into his coat. What a mess. The man stood, and to his surprise, his feet couldn't move.

"Huh?" Glancing down, the captain blushed to see he'd frozen his own feet. He looked around and saw that, in his irritation, he'd let himself go. The very damp forest had become a bit chilly.

_You should try to be more patient with her, master._

The familiar and comforting voice echoed from inside his head as Hitsugaya freed his feet.

"I know; but it seems like everything she does is purposefully to irk me." The voice inside him chuckled.

_She does care about you._

The look on his face softened. "I know."

He began moving in the right direction, ready to fight and get home.

XIII-X-X-IIIX

The supposed location of the hollow was a large field with a few rocks popping out of the ground. No hollow, no spirit pressure, nothing. Hitsugaya huffed and crossed his arms, trying to keep from just letting loose on the outcroppings in the area.

_Anger is bad for the blood pressure, master._

"I'm young, what do I care about blood pressure?" Hitsugaya muttered irritatedly. He glanced around again; absolutely nothing. Where the hell was this thing? He turned around and looked the other way.

As he did, two of the "rocks" in the field began to move. They looked like giant armadillos, with ugly elongated faces. Their backs were like shells which vibrated as they moved. Hitsugaya stiffened, and glanced over his shoulder.

"Could she have meant these things?" They weren't hollows that's for sure. But they were in the right spot. Hitsugaya move to draw his sword.

A sudden gust of cold air burst through the space before him, blasting him back with its intensity. Blinking, Hitsugaya looked at his sword. But I haven't even drawn him yet...

The burst of air continued traveling, around the two beasts, until they were both covered in ice. Hitsugaya stared into the chilly fog and saw a figure, holding a ball of white energy in his hands. He tossed it at the monsters, and they froze solid.

As the dust began to settle, Hitsugaya heard footsteps approaching. A very tall figure appeared from out of the fog.

This man was probably as tall as Captain Kenpachi, maybe taller, and was even thicker than him. He was very muscular, with blond hair and some scruff around his chin. The man walked with a saunter that reminded Hitsugaya of Ichigo vaguely, but the childish grin on his face and the light in his eyes had Kyoraku's name all over it. And Kyoraku was most annoying, second only to... Matsumoto.

"Hey, kid," The man waved, and Hitsugaya realized that, yes, this man was just as annoying as those he reminded him of. "What're you doing out here? Place is dangerous."

In his irritation, it didn't even occur to Hitsugaya to wonder how the man could see him. "I am not a kid." He muttered.

The stranger chuckled and put his hands on his hips. "Oh? Then what are you?"

It occurred to Hitsugaya then that he was not allowed to say "Captain" or "Shinigami" to this stranger. "I'm a warrior." He crossed his arms. In reply, the other man laughed again, and another vein appeared on Hitsugaya's forehead.

"You sound just like him." Whoever 'him' was, Hitsugaya didn't care. The monsters were dead, and at this point he just wanted to go home. So he turned and began walking. "Hey, wait!" And of course, the annoying 'rescuer' began to follow. His long legs caught up quick. "Where are you headed?"

"Home." The younger spat.

"Where's that?"

"None of your business. You are a stranger to me, why would I tell you where I live?"

The taller man smirked. "Smart kid. But hey, I'm not a freak or anything. And I can't just let you wander through here on your own." He nodded, clenching a fist. "I'll get you home at least."

"I'll be fine." Hitsugaya tried putting as much ice in his words as possible, but it seemed the other man was oblivious to it.

"What's your name?" Hitsugaya glanced at him. The man was all smiles, hands in his pockets. He seemed harmless enough.

"Hitsugaya Toshiro."

The stranger's eyes widened, but then he smiled. "Name's Snow Villiers. Nice to meet you, Shiro.

At this point Hitsugaya was pretty sure his entire head was twitching in irritation.

"So what were you doing out here?" Snow asked, oblivious to the rumbling volcano that Hitsugaya's head had become. He was pure red.

"Once again, you are a stranger. I have no reason to justify my presence here to you." Snow held up his hands in defeat at the raging tone of Hitsugaya's voice. The brat looked like he might just explode. Hitsugaya continued storming forward as Snow paused his steps.

"Jeez, all right. Maybe you're more like Sis than the kid..." Hitsugaya took the chance to run while Snow was scratching his head and distracted by his thoughts. With a flash of shunpo he was gone.

In a distant grove of trees, Hitsugaya gave a light huff and shook his head. "What a persistent and annoying man." The Captain heaved, before lifting his arm. "Almost like a..." He feared to say it; a male Matsumoto. But without the large breasts to shove into his face. Shaking the horrid thoughts from his mind, Hitsugaya frowned. It was about time he summoned a gate and got off away from this godforsaken place.

"Never heard it put that nicely before."

The powerful Squad 10 Captain about jumped out of his haori when the voice spoke from behind him. He spun around, hand on his sword, to see Snow standing with arms crossed and a smirk on his lips.

"You're a pretty fast little guy -"

"I am not little! And if you do not stop following me I will use force!"

Once again came the surrender pose. "I don't mean any harm. I'm just trying to offer some help."

Face red, Histugaya snarled. "I don't need it." The other didn't seem convinced.

"I just mean," He paused, shrugging. "If you don't have a place to go, or if your... running from something, then well..." At this point, the stranger did something odd. He moved his arms as if to stretch, purposefully drawing Hitsugaya's eyes to his forearm. There was a strange tattoo there. Why did this stranger want him to see his tattoo? "I can help you out."

Blinking, Hitsugaya glared and decided to go back to Soul Society and beat Renji Abarai until his frustration was finally released. Maybe yell at Matsumoto a little bit, throw all the candy he'd received from Ukitake out the window, and end the day by kicking a puppy.

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" The captain drew his sword, Hyorinmaru's bright and long blade flashing as it cut through the humid air. "Now leave, or I'll make you!" The majestic and intimidatingly sharp blade would surely get the point across. Snow, arms on his hips, stared at the great sword. Hitsugaya smirked. But the smirk died as soon as Snow looked up with a weird look on his face, and pointed at Hyorinmaru.

"You sure you know how to use that great big thing kid?" The man asked innocently. "Might cut yourself swinging it around like that."

Hitsugaya Toshiro literally saw red. Pure blood red. Maybe the veins in his forehead had finally burst and now blood was cascading over his face in torrents. Or maybe his eyes were bleeding from the sheer pressure of his inner rage. Whatever it was, the anger was so loud he couldn't even hear Hyorinmaru's voice shouting at him from the back of his head.

"I..." He began, gripping his blade so tight it shook. "am not..." The boy lifted his head and at that moment Snow learned what Dragon Rage looked like from the receiving end. "A KID!"

A burst of spirit pressure blew back all the trees and foliage around them; innocent little woodland creatures flew through the air helplessly, their happy dancing interrupted by the Shinigami's wraith. Even larger creatures were flung back, taking trees down with them, bellowing in confusion. There was even a horrid tragedy where a small gremlin became lodged in a larger lizard like creature's throat, resulting in Hitsugaya's first double homicide.

Yet, in the midst of the great spiritual explosion, Hitsugaya and Snow still remained. The elder seemed slightly impressed, arms guarding his face, his feet digging into the ground. Hitsugaya resembled, frighteningly enough, what it might have been like to face Kenpachi's son, if he had one. In fact, the trademark crazy skull might've even appeared in his spirit pressure at some point.

Snow moved his arms and formed them into fists. "Well, guess I'll find out if you can take care of yourself soon enough." He grinned; the pressure began dying down as Hitsugaya grimaced, and lifted his sword again.

They were interrupted before they even began by a great howling. Both warriors looked up to see a massive beast heading their way.

Hitsugaya gave an indignant snort. "There it is."

The hollow he had been sent to fight had found him; but instead of being your average annoying specimen, this creature was the Hollow from Hell. Towering above them, almost as tall as the enormous trees, the thing had a mouth the size of a cave and when it roared saliva flew everywhere.

"Great, just what I needed; a bath." Snow wiped his face off, grimacing; then spat on the grass.

Hitsugaya, meanwhile, snarled at the beast and hoisted Hyorinmaru up again. "You picked a bad day to find me." He muttered to the beast.

But as he leapt through the air to cut it apart, a giant tentacle flew at him. He heard Snow cry out from below. The man needn't of worried for Hitsugaya was well out of the way by the time it flew by.

"Forgot you were fast." Snow closed his eyes for a moment, and in a flash, his jacket had changed. Tribal designs had appeared on the back of it. With a cheerful shout he raced at the creature, ready to pummel it to death.

"Wonderful idea, charging a hollow bare handed." This human was dumb, Hitsugaya decided. Dumber even than Ichigo. The captain leapt back into the air, calling out.

"Reign over the Frosted Heavens!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Snow caught the sight of something white. _Wait_, he thought, eyebrow cocked. _I didn't cast anything._

Then he turned and his eyes grew wide at the sight of a giant dragon made of ice.

With a sweep of his sword, Hitsugaya sent the long piece of ice flying at his opponent, leaping into the air as he did so. The attack hit and the creature snarled as part of its face became frozen by ice. The hollow flew backwards into a grove of trees.

Hitsugaya landed beside Snow, walking past him. "Leave." He demanded. "It will be dangerous for you to remain here." He then used shunpo, leaving Snow in the dust.

The older man was baffled. Had he... was that... did that just...? It all sunk in as he shook his head and grinned crookedly. "Well... can't let the kid show me up. I mean, I'm the hero here!" With the grin planted on his face, Snow ran back into the fray. He let out a battle cry and jumped.

Hitsugaya meanwhile was trading blows with tentacles. He cut two and three more flew up to greet him. It was an annoying process for an already thoroughly annoyed Captain. He had probably reached his rage quota for the next century. Still cutting through Hollow flesh, he didn't see Snow charging it until he was already a mere inch from punching it in the face. The Captain startled; as amusing as it would be to see the annoying man swallowed by a hollow he couldn't let it happen. The job description clearly stated that he must protect humans, and that included the stupid ones.

To his surprise, Snow didn't seem to need protecting at all. He was not swallowed by the Hollow (a tragedy in itself). His blow actually hurt it. A lot.

The fist to the nose the Hollow received threw the beast even further than Hitsugaya had, crashing it through three layers of foliage before it crashed into a rock wall. The thing was disoriented and still reeling as Snow made to charge it again. Hitsugaya meanwhile was staring.

"He..." This is a human? The Captain had thought that only humans who hung out with Kurosaki Ichigo became over powered freaks.

Snow leapt into the air again, but before he could hit the beast, a tentacle flew at him. He kicked it aside, and punched another one. A third flew at him, but never made it, being cut in two midair. Snow landed nimbly.

"Thanks." He grinned as Hitsugaya ran up.

"You are reckless." The Shinigami prepared to use more ice as Snow just laughed.

"That's what they all tell me."

The pummeling continued and seemed very one sided for the poor Hollow. Despite earlier arguments, the two worked together well. They tore the tentacles apart rather easily, and then together, bashed the creature in the head with fists and ice. It fell over a cliff, tumbling down into a large river, a few hundred feet below.

"All right!" Snow punched the air, then ran over and put a companionable arm around Hitsugaya's shoulder. The younger man stiffened, a grimace on his face. "Pretty nice job there, Shiro."

"It's Hitsugaya." The Captain shoved his arm away. "And its not dead."_ It won't be dead until it fades away. _Snow blinked. Sure enough, the creature below them snarled and began moving again.

"Damn." Snow returned to his battle pose. Hitsugaya frowned.

"I don't think that will be enough this time." He murmured. His companion turned to look at him questioningly. Hitsugaya glanced up.

"Please, leave." He said. "You proved you are strong, but defeating it will take much more. I don't want to hurt you." As he spoke, the Hollow's spirit pressure began to surge. It was getting more powerful. The thing's teeth elongated into sharp points, its tentacles surging and bubbling until spikes flew out. A ridge of spikes grew from its back.

Snow watched this, turned to the kid, and shook his head. "I get it kid; you're pretty strong. But let me show you what I can do."

Before the Shinigami could stop him, Snow leapt over the edge, towards the river, falling down towards the savage beast. It raised its mouth to greet him, snarling loudly and thrashing.

"You idiot!" In that moment, Hitsugaya lifted Hyorinmaru. "Daiguren Hyorinmaru!"

A flash of light; the air became deathly cold. In an instant Hitsugaya came flying over the edge of the cliff, diving towards Snow. He was flying with great wings made of ice. In fact, ice covered most of his skin, including all his limbs, and a tail trailed behind him. He held his sword with one hand, and with the other, reached to grab Snow.

Before he could, Snow performed a trick of his own.

The man reached into his pocket and removed a tear shaped blue crystal. He tossed it into the air, and then punched it. The crystal shattered into thousands of beautiful blue pieces, which became surrounded by a great magic circle, extending out and above. Hitsugaya flew by it, staring in shock and awe. _ Is this man really a human?_

As he fell, Snow grinned and shouted. "Shiva!"

The blue orb exploded into a shower of ice, and two beautiful, towering women of mechanical make flew towards Snow, almost dancing through the air. The three of them reached out and grab one hand each, until the three where spiraling to the ground together. Then, the two women flipped around him. They grabbed each others hands and... and...

Hitsugaya turned a bright, bright red that had nothing to do with anger whatsoever. Though, at the moment, there was something in his pants becoming a bit enraged. Thank Kami for giant Shinigami uniforms.

The women folded their legs together and did something that one would expect to find in one of Kisuke Urahara's mangas. They seemed to transform, molding together into a giant motorcycle.

Snow, laughing happily, landed on the motorcycle and grabbed the handles, riding it through the air down towards the creature. But just as it seemed the bike would crash, a road of ice appeared in the air. The bike flew down the ramp and ran circles around the beast below.

The creature reached out with its spiked tentacles, chopping at the ice and trying to hit the bike. But Snow and his ride were too fast, and whatever ice the creature destroyed was recreated almost immediately. Snow just kept spinning circles around the beast, until icy dust was flying about and spikes were forming behind him. In a few seconds, the Hollow was completely encased in ice, which then exploded.

Hitsugaya had long since flown down to the ground a safe distance away, staring agape with a twitch in his eyebrow. This... this was... but how... and his own powers no less!

Snow, beaming at the younger, revved his bike one more time. "Told ya I could handle it." Unbeknownst to him, the Hollow was trying unsteadily to get to its feet. Shunpo got Hitsugaya beside it in no time, as he stabbed it with his blade.

"Ryusenka" The captain murmured. A flower burst of ice appeared from his blade, once again immobilizing the beast, freezing it finally and completely. When Hitsugaya flew back, he flicked his wrist, and the ice shattered. The Hollow was now a bunch of remains scattered across the forest floor.

Snow, turning on his bike to watch, grinned with admiration. "Nice move. You really are pretty good with that thing." Hitsugaya turned on his heel to face him.

"You... what are you?" The look on his face dimmed.

"Heh. You haven't figured it out?" He stood. The bike began to unfold, an action which Hitsugaya pointedly ignored. Snow approached him, lifting his arm with the tattoo. "I'm a L'Cie." He muttered. He stopped about five feet from the boy. "I thought you were too, since you felt so different." Felt? This man could feel spiritual pressure? "That's why I followed you. Figured you were on the run and I could offer some help."

"I don't even know what a L'Cie is, much less am one." Hitsugaya let his Bankai fade away, sheaving his sword. A more serious look was on his face. "Well... it's none of my business I guess."

Snow smirked and crossed his arms. "Yeah. You are a _stranger_, right? Have no business asking _me_ questions." He added with a devious look. Hitsugaya smirked back. "Though I don't know how you can live in this world and not know what a L'Cie is..."

"That's just it. I don't." Hitsugaya answered. "I am not from here."

Snow blinked. "Say what?"

A large finger tapped the man's shoulder, and Snow turned to see his large female companions smiling at him. He smiled back. One look at those tall women with their enormous cleavage was enough to send a shiver down Hitsugaya's spine. _Glad Matsumoto's not like that... _

Snow seemed to be speaking to them mentally, head cocked, with a funny look on his face. Then he chuckled. "What'd ya know. Apparently they know you, somehow. The sisters want to know if they can talk to you."

The darker sister shook her head, then pointed at Hitsugaya. The Captain quirked an eyebrow. The two sisters kneeled near him. They mouthed a word.

Hitsugaya's eyes widened in realization, and then, he closed them back. In a moment a form appeared beside him. Tall, regal, with long bluish green hair, Hyorinmaru's human form looked up to the two women and nodded.

_Stiria. Nix. _Both women seemed to smile brighter when he said their names. In fact, from the looks on their faces, Hitsugaya had a feeling their were giggling. Snow glanced from one to the other with an eyebrow cocked.

"What are they saying?" Hitsugaya asked, only slightly curious.

"Chanting somethin' about 'Hyou-chan' or something... is that him?" He pointed to the sword spirit.

"This is Hyorinmaru, the spirit that shares my body and shares his powers with me. Similar to you and these... ladies, I guess." Hitsugaya looked up at the giant robots, who seemed to be doing their own version of fangasm. Hyorinmaru seemed unperturbed.

"Cool." Snow said. At that moment a beep interrupted their conversation.

Hitsugaya glanced down to the device in his pocket. He pulled out his communicator.

"Hello?"

"_Hitsugaya-taichou_?" The voice, a random Shinigami, asked. "_We've been looking for you. Your division reported your absence hours ago. Where are you and Matsumoto-fukutaichou_?"

Hitsugaya blinked. "I'm... on my mission. And I don't know where Matsumoto is. What is this about?"

"_Mission, sir? There wasn't any mission for you. The Captains have been called to a meeting because someone released a Hollow into a world outside of our division. There might be complications_."

Once again he blinked. Then he looked up at Snow's blank face. Complications indeed. The man snarled through gritted teeth.

"I'll call you back." He hung up, then dialed Matsumoto's number.

"_Helloo~_"

"Matsumoto, why did you send me on this bogus mission and WHY did you release a Hollow on this world!" It was obvious she was the culprit, for some strange reason. The girl merely giggled.

"_Captain, how could you? I'm totally innocent I promise_!" She giggled again. Hitsugaya's migraine was coming back. "_Okaaay, I might've had something to do with it. But it's all for a good cause. I'm sharing all the video footage with the Women's Association this week_?"

"Women's assoc..."

"_There's a camera in your jacket. We wanted to get footage of that handsome fella across from you_!" She giggled again. "_Do you think you could convince him to take his shirt off captain? Maybe the rest too_?"

The child turned bright red. "Matsumo- AHH!"

At that moment he was grabbed by something and pulled against a muscular chest.

"Come on kid, loosen up. Anger like that can't be good for you, especially as young as you are. You should be happy!" Snow cheered, squeezing him tightly. The captain's face was being choked by his firm and manly pecks. Gee, why did this seem familiar?

And, over Snow's shoulder, Hitsugaya could see his sword being hit on by the two giant robot women. Hyorinmaru looked a tad bit uncomfortable.

Meanwhile, a voice chirped from his hand. "_OH, good job captain! This is a wonderful shot of his manly chest_!"

His temper finally snapped.

"MATSUMOTOOOOO!"

\.\.\./././

**Happpy... summer, I guess? This one's for you Regan; hope you caught all the jokes. 83 Anyone else reading this may not totally understand. But that's okay because who needs to understand? Hitsugaya + Snow = LOL. That's all you need to know. XD**

**Sulhadahne**


End file.
